


One

by nnephy



Series: Seven [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, OCD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 07:56:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4383629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nnephy/pseuds/nnephy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade Harley, A 19 year old with both OCD and other anxiety issues, moves in with her cousin, John, 3 years after being diagnosed. She struggles with safety along with other compulsions, and doesn't cope well with change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One

A/N: Hi guys, I decided that I was going to write a story where Jade goes through the same struggles and problems as me. I feel like there needs to be more representation of this is the homestuck fandom, so I did it myself! This is just chapter one, and I intend on making Jade grow and improve in the ways I did as well.

This is it. The day Jade Harley would be moving out. She could do that much, right? She stared down at her fingers, trying to comprehend the fact that she wasn’t coming back to the island, at least not for some time. She had tried to stay strong when John announced she simply couldn’t live there anymore, and stronger still when her friends Rose and Dave agreed. Once they were all on board with her leaving, there wasn’t much she could do to convince them otherwise. She studied the loops of colorful rubber bands the wrapped around her fingers. Reminders of reasons why it would be fun. She got to ride a boat, which was pretty cool. She got to see Rose and Dave, and whoever else John spent his time with that Jade didn’t know yet. And she got to bring Bec and all her belongings, but there was a pit in the bottom of her stomach every time she looked around the now empty bedroom that used to be so colorful and filled with her personals. She couldn’t stand the look at her once chaotically organized room, now stripped down to what it was before she was even born.

Jade was diagnosed with anxiety and OCD 3 years ago during a trip to John’s. He had been convinced she needed to be helped since. A normal person wouldn’t be able to count the times that she unlocked her laptop to find concerned messages from John, asking how she was doing and if she could please just move in with him, just for a little while. Jade knew exactly how many times, though. One hundred eighty seven times. It took one hundred eighty seven times to get Jade to leave the only place she has ever called home. Well, that wasn’t true. It took one hundred eighty six tries, but Jade hated even numbers. She liked having one in the middle more than having it split directly down the middle. So she waited for one more try, and reluctantly typed out, slowly and methodically, “OK”. Jade tried to always be upbeat, if not for herself, for everyone else. But she couldn’t do that while agreeing to this.

She looked up to once again be sure she had everything. She couldn’t help but to think that maybe, somehow, she had left something behind. This was her seventh time checking.

“Seventh time's the charm!” She said smiling brightly, regardless of how she actually felt on the inside. Outside, a large steam horn sounded, and Jade frantically push the unlock button on the side of her phone. 12:55?! She had specifically requested the boat be here at 1:05. She took a deep breath, trying to rationalize. It was early, yes, but early was still better than late! As she took her suitcase, and gently pulled Bec’s leash, she tried to pep herself up. This was going to be fine. If they were early, there was no possibility of them being late to John’s! She walked down long paths of grass, and up a ramp to the boat where she was greeted by a young teenage boy, whom seemed to look familiar. She tried to draw up the name from her brain, but she had nothing.

“Hi, Jade!” The boy said enthusiastically. Jade really was getting annoyed. Who was this guy, and why did he look so familiar? He coughed, breaking her train of thought. “My name’s Jake, I’m one of John’s cousins.” He said. That was just the nudge she needed to remember who he was. Of course he looked familiar, he looked just like John. Now that she studied him, it was kind of creepy, uncanny was the word she was looking for. There were obvious differences, of course. Jake was leaner, as opposed to Johns filled out cheeks from years of stuffing them with cake, and he was darker. John rarely left his house, not that he had to, being the heir to one of the biggest pre-mixed baking boxes distributors.

“Hi Jake! John told me that you would get all my boxes?” She said staring at his legs. Jeez, why were his shorts so short? Perhaps she was missing out on a trend? She shook her head, and quickly drew her attention back to his face. Jake lifted a brow. “Is something the matter Ms. Harley?” Jade felt her cheeks flush, as she shook her head. “Where should I put Bec?” She asked trying to quickly change the conversation before things got too bad. She was suddenly aware that she hadn’t brushed her hair this morning. What was he thinking right now? Probably something along the lines of ‘Wow, John’s other cousin sure is a weirdo, and she doesn’t even brush her hair!’ She felt physically sick at the thought. She shivered as a chill went up her spine, and Jake spoke up. “You can just let him off his leash, I heard the little bugger’s fantastically behaved. The helicopter you’ll be taking to shore will be leaving in about an hour. About those boxes, I’ll be loading them on well after you leave, so I might as well say my goodbyes now.” He said as Jade avoided eye contact by unhooking Bec’s leash. “Yeah, sounds good. Bye!” Jade said, trying to sound excited, but it fell flat. Luckily, either Jake didn’t notice, or he didn’t care enough to comment, and he was off on his way by the time she was done petting Bec. The trip was going to take about 20 days, so she would be left without her stuff for a while. The only thing she was bringing with her was her suitcase of clothes.

Jade had no idea how she had spent an hour doing nothing with just Bec, and a distant cousin coming on and off the boat periodically saying random facts about animals he found. “Jade! I saw a Wallaby! You know those can be really dangerous?” She felt like she was watching that show with Steve Irwin in it. She never remembered the name, but the content was fresh in her mind. And it was sure was annoying. Jade found herself zoning him out constantly. Finally, when it finally was time to leave, she was nervous, and wishing that she had paid more attention to Jake’s facts. Like throw up all over yourself and cry nervous. She stared at her hands, a coping technique she and John had come up with. Thirteen rubber bands wrapped around her finger, that she counted slowly. She then looked up, panicking. Who was driving the helicopter!? She didn’t know them, how would she be able to trust them. She was tempted to beg Jake to leave her here. But she didn’t want to John to personally come pick her up like he had offered to do so many times before. She would hate to inconvenience him.

Jake boarded the boat and dropped a huge box of Jade’s stuffed animals, as Jade cleared her throat. He looked up curiously, and cocked his head to the side. “Uh, is there something wrong?” He asked, after all, she hadn’t spoken to him since she said bye to him. Jade sat up straighter, putting on her Grammy winning smile she always used to fake her confidence. “I was just wondering who would be piloting the helicopter.” She said, keeping her voice steady. Jake brightened at the question. “Ah! That would be my…. Boyfriend…” He said these words slowly, as if he was scared of the words themselves. “Dirk!” He said perking up again. ‘That was weird….’ Jade thought, but who was she to question that, she was a walking train wreck trying to pretend everything was okay. She had no room to judge. She also knew a bit about Dirk, Dave’s brother. Dave didn’t talk about him much, besides to say that he was gone a lot. She guess she had found where he was going. Jade nodded quickly, she had no idea what she was supposed to say to that, about someone who had left her friend alone so many times, so she just kept it at a nod.

Jade looked down at her phone, noticing that it was well past two. She was about to speak out, say anything, when she heard a stoic voice from behind her. “So who’s flying the plane?” He asked, seeming bored, as if he made that joke often. At least he had a sense of humor? Not like John’s, she stared at a pink rubber band circling her finger. John’s funny, and he likes to make her laugh. She glanced up just in time to see him motion for her to follow him, and put on some clunky headphones, just like in the movies. To be honest, Jade thought that those movies were making that up, there was no way people wore headphones like that. They had to have exchanged them, for sleeker versions by now right? But apparently not. She walked ahead of Dirk, boarding the helicopter. It had a small launch pad, which was outlined in red. Inside the helicopter, which was much smaller than anticipated, there was barely any room for her suit case with Bec’s giant hair taking it all up.

She tried hard to not pay attention to what Jake and Dirk were saying to each other outside the helicopter, she really did, but it was so hard whenever they were so loud. She ended up talking to Bec, no matter how crazy she sounded it wouldn’t be as bad as listening to two boy’s relationship problems. She kept up her loud conversation until she heard the other door of the helicopter open. Thank goodness. She really wanted to be on time for John, he was picking her up at five thirty-three. They had decided on that time together, and Jade had reminded him of it several times.

The helicopter blasted to life, and Jake waved goodbye to her as if she was a small child. She was really tired of people treating her like she couldn’t take care of herself. She might have problems, but she was a 19 year old girl, and she could understand the world around her. It may seem like she was wrapped up in her own head, up in the clouds if you will, but she heard a lot more than people thought.

Dirk was silent through most of the plane ride. She wasn’t sure what she expected, brainstorming the meaning of life? Theorizing on their existence, and what it meant to be self-aware? No, but she would have enjoyed some friendly banter. She sat bored, petting Bec when he seemed scared, or hungry or whatever, occasionally Dirk would start singing quietly, but the songs were nothing like what Jade had heard before. She heard the radio playing the music that seemed to go along well with the song, so maybe that’s where he was getting it from. Regardless, it meant nothing to her as she couldn’t hear the words to actually know what the song was even about. After he finally started singing about his brother Zach, she had to ask what was going on.

“Uh, Dirk. What are you singing, if you don’t mind me asking?” She said loudly, to speak over the turning blades that were keeping the afloat. Dirk snapped back to this world, and glanced at her quickly.

“Let me tell you about the musical genius that is Tyler Joseph.” He started, Oh god what had she gotten herself into? there was no doubt this would turn into one of Dave’s infamous 4 hour rants. She decided to tune him out, although she had been the one to ask the question originally. She didn’t think he minded, he just kept talking about beautiful metaphors, whatever that meant. She stared out the window as he talked, picking up snippets from time to time. Finally his speaking quieted, and they flew the rest of the way in complete silence, with the Tyler droning on in the background.

Jade had no idea they were about to land when they did. When she first felt the helicopter lower to the ground, she ran through several situations and reasons why she was about to die. She really should have never come. All she was going to do was die. She shook her head as Dirk landed the helicopter. “We’re here!” Jade sighed in relief and checked her phone. She hadn’t had the time the whole plane ride, something she wasn’t comfortable doing, but Dirk insisted upon. Something about the waves and interference, although Jade was sure that was debunked years ago. She looked down in horror as she read the time. 6:30?! She felt her heart rate speeding up as she let the thought sink in. How were they so late, had she miscalculated the time? There was no way, Jade had checked the most probable route seven times. She felt a lump build up in her throat, and a weight drop on her chest. She heard a knock on the helicopter door, as it flew open. She barely had time to even process the facial features staring back at her before she was engulfed in a warm embrace. Jade pulled away from him a few moments later, feeling significantly calmer. John’s toothy grin was all she needed at this point. John patted her head, and let Bec jump out of the aircraft. Jade took a moment to catch her breath, and looked down nervously.

**“I’m so glad you’re here, Jade. And you made it right on time!”**


End file.
